“So, you’re going to Oberlin, right?” The words hit me a little harder than they should have, or than I expected them to.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go there — or maybe I really didn’t. I just found myself assaulted by the pressure to make everything right. Check all the boxes. Please everyone.

It was overwhelming.

With the other trombonists from my music school deciding between Oberlin and Eastman, I worried that denying myself the opportunities that they were pursuing at prestigious music schools would somehow ruin me. But I wasn’t them.

Let’s backtrack a bit.

As a lost junior, I had my mind set on majoring in journalism one year ago. With no tangible experience in journalism, I joined DOI, at which point I realized that I was more interested in an English major than one in journalism and — oh, also by the way — I love trombone far too much not to pursue it as a minor. Briefly stuck on majoring in music education before taking another turn, I went from potential journalist to aspiring educator before finally deciding that I would be happiest in a five-year dual degree program in trombone performance and biochemistry. And no, that isn’t changing again anytime soon.

Juggling the ordinary college application process with all of the additional auditions and procedures that my music performance degree posed, I also faced the pressures presented by each side. Upon my admission to Oberlin, which has great programs on both ends, I started feeling like I needed to go there.

With peers at my music school focusing only on music and peers at LHS focusing only on academics, I felt like I needed to make both sides of my degree perfect. With Oberlin checking all the boxes on paper, I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to explain not going there to anyone.

However, after committing to Lawrence University — which is both less selective and has a less renowned conservatory than Oberlin — I could not be happier with my decision. Choosing a college is a decision that you make for your life. The next four years (or five, in my case) of your life are going to be spent somewhere, and it’s up to you to decide where that somewhere is. Making a decision that is important and personal shouldn’t be determined by what you think other people will think, nor should it be based off of a list of colleges that someone came up with for you. Just choose for you.