Libertyville High School is home to 30 water fountains. Some provide cold water, some spew lukewarm water, some don’t work at all and some I couldn’t even find. With so many fountains to choose from, a common question is posed by students in the hallways: Which water fountain is the best?
I hoped to definitively answer this question by ranking the water fountains in the school. Each fountain received a ranking from zero to 10 in three different categories: water pressure, temperature and taste, while extra points were also awarded for unique appearances or features. The maximum score a fountain a fountain could receive was 32. Here are the important highlights.

Note: All of the water fountains are not not included in these rankings. Additionally, some rankings represent a group of water fountains that are located near each other and have similar features.

Last: Language Cube, First Floor – 1/32

If the Miami Dolphins were a water fountain, this would be it. Coming in at last place is the water fountain located in the language cube. Not only does no water actually come out, the bottom half of the fountain is simply falling apart. With nothing to evaluate, one pity point was awarded out of kindness. This water fountain should simply be renamed “The Worst Water Fountain Ever.”

Second-to-last: Main hall, second floor outside the the girls bathroom – 2/32

If you’re quick enough, you might be able to get half a sip of water before the stream of both water fountains dwindles down to nothing. Countless minutes of people’s time must be wasted waiting for this water fountain to decide if it wants to work or not, and by then, you’re already late to your next class. If possible, avoid these two water fountains, as they barely ever work. When asked why they choose not to dispense any water, both water fountains declined to comment.

Ninth: New pool – 5/32

Being the two newest water fountains in the whole school, theoretically these two should be the most advanced in water fountain technology and taste. Sadly, that’s not even close to being true. One might be confused when they realize the water tastes like it actually came from the new pool.

Eighth: Main Gym, Field-house, and weight room 9/32
With two water fountains in each gym and one in the weight room, you would think you could at least get some refreshing water at one of the five fountains. You would be wrong. With perhaps the most average tasting, warm water of any water fountain in the state of Illinois, these water fountains more than likely won’t satisfy your thirst after running sprints or getting a new personal best of 95 pounds on the bench press. The rating would be lower, but thankfully for their sake, they all have a cool-looking handle to disperse the water with.

Seventh: Auditorium and outside the the DOI room – 10/32

These two water fountains would have much higher ratings if they weren’t practically hidden away from the average student. With lukewarm water, okay taste and a pretty decent rate of release, these water fountains will get the job done. However, you’ll probably find the gate to Narnia before you find either of these water fountains.

Sixth: Art room – 12/32

Before purposely going out of my way to taste test all the water fountains on school grounds, I didn’t know this one even existed. I wouldn’t be surprised if no one else knew it existed either. Located in the “dungeon,” this water fountain is older but still provides tasteful water. However, it is overshadowed by two water fountains located down the hall by the Link Crew room.

Fifth: Cafeteria, on the wall near the main gym- 13/32

Said by some to be the best water fountain in the school, I found myself looking around to see if perhaps I was testing the wrong water fountain. The water came out with immense power, but what it possessed in technical ability, it lacked in the quality of the water. It was warm and left me dazed with one of the weirdest aftertastes of any water fountain I’ve ever tried before.

Fourth: West Gym – 24/32

With a look like it came out of a private school in Beverly Hills to go along with the cold water, these two water fountains are the only pair in the whole school that taste the same as their counterpart. With a good location for games and practices, these water fountains are perfect for tired athletes or people looking for some high-quality water.

Third: Near the Near the Green Room – 28/32
A fan favorite among theater kids, this water was cold and had a strong stream to go along with it. If I hadn’t needed to get a custodian to unlock three doors just so I could taste this water fountain, it might have been higher in the rankings. However, most people don’t want to spend 10 minutes trying to get to a water fountain, which docked four four points from its otherwise perfect score.

Second: Outside the the all-gender restroom by the library: 29/32

I was having a bad day when I tested this water fountain, and after I tasted it, I was suddenly having the best day ever. This water fountain is overlooked by most because of its isolated location, but it spews some of the best-tasting water you’ll ever have. However, it is kind of tall, so short people may have to use the water fountain located next to it, which is why three three points were removed. Sorry, short people.

First: Orchestra/Choir/Guitar room – 32/32

Sophomore Marcus Graham summarized this water fountain best: “This water could make a blind man see.” With possibly the best-tasting water in human history, it’s clear to see why people have nicknamed it “The Iceberg,” thanks to its freezing cold water. I tried time and time again to find something wrong with this water fountain, but there are simply no flaws. It is perfect.