Note: A picture that was included with this story when it was originally posted has been removed.
These are points that the common person will need to know about the Winter Olympics in Sochi, which will be starting Friday, February 7 and ending Sunday, February 23. The items will be simply enough to remember and not look like a fool who doesn’t have a clue of what’s going on in the Olympics. One rule that will do you well no matter what sport is on… 1) It is the WINTER Olympics: What does that mean? You will not see too much of warm weather climates, so put questions about Egypt and Kenya far out of mind; they will not medal.
Biathlon– Yes, they are skiing with guns on their back. Acting like it’s no big deal that they have guns on their back is the key to not seeming like a novice. Countries that are good at shooting: Russia and Germany. Big shock, right?
Bobsled- Two or four men or women will jump in a sled to try to go as fast as possible down a cut-out ice track. Germany, Canada, the United States, and Switzerland will likely be the teams that you’ll worry about here, but Jamaica will be back and it is a rule that you have to cheer for them.
Skeleton– This showcases one man or woman who is insane. Their face is an inch off the ground as they are speeding down the track at around 85 miles per hour. What happens if they sneeze?
Curling- Shuffleboard on ice. The greatest sport, if for no other reason than to listen to the guys yell at each other as they are playing shuffleboard. If you want to see action, then you would rather watch an icicle melt.
Ice Hockey– Not just for Canadians anymore, eh? The Blackhawks have made hockey exciting for everyone in the area, and the representing Hawks are Patrick Sharp, Jonathan Toews, and Duncan Keith (Canada), Marian Hossa and Michael Handzus (Slovakia), Johnny Oduya, Niklas Hjalmarsson, and Marcus Kruger (Sweden, but names sound American, though, right?), Patrick Kane (United States), and Michal Rozsival (Czech Republic). There is not enough time to explain hockey, so just talk in a Canadian accent, and your knowledge won’t be questioned.
Luge– This one has one man flying down a track. Goal: go the fastest. How do some people go so fast without flying over the edge? No clue.
Figure Skating– This is dancing on ice. Some of the most talented people in the Olympics. Most entertaining? No. Not even close.
Short Track Speed Skating- NASCAR fans will enjoy this…a whole lot of left turns. Fast-paced, and a lot of rules that can get you kicked out. Example: it is illegal to have any skin showing that is not your head or neck. Sounds like their option if they want to be cold or not.
Speed Skating- A foot race on skates. Short race, head to head; please tell me you don’t have too many questions about this one.
Alpine Skiing– Get excited, you know what this is. Somebody skiing downhill, a jump once in a while, make sure to stay inside the flags and you are fine. Oh yeah, and you have to be faster than everyone else.
Cross Country Skiing- Skiing across the ground, no jumps, no tricks, just trying to go fast. Don’t ask how this is fun for these athletes.
Freestyle Skiing- Entertaining, fast-paced, timed. Good one to watch on TV.
Nordic Combined- All about the landing and the distance. You are able to watch about 50 athletes do this jump on skis before one round of figure skating is over. This is essentially the same thing to ski jumping in my opinion.
Ski Jumping– I don’t know the difference between this and Nordic Combined; this name sounds more American, so I guess the United States has a better shot in this one.
Snowboarding- Come on, this one is in the Olympics so the Americans can have a sport that they recognize.
