“Do You Really See Me?”: Gay Students At LHS

  When you walk through the halls, what do you see? Your eyes are drawn to clothes, facial expressions, how people are moving; it’s what you see. But something you can’t necessarily see is how someone feels. Out of 100 faces you may see in one passing period, you may see four people who identify as LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender), even if you don’t necessarily know it.

  According to a Gallup survey taken in 2012, 3.4% of Americans identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. Another Gallup survey said that out of 100 Americans that were asked in 2013, around a third guessed that 25% of the population identified as LGBT, while the rest guessed in the lower numbers. In reality, the number remains below 5%.

  A few years ago, LHS addressed the issue of students who identify as LGBT feeling like outcasts. With the social stigma affecting their students, the social workers made a new program, called the Gay-Straight Alliance. The social workers explain that the goal of GSA is self-explanatory: bring gay and straight students together in a way that gives them a safe environment to rally behind their cause.

  “GSA’s overall goal is to bring awareness and acceptance. The whole point is a gay-straight alliance,” said Q-Z LST social worker Lindsay Recsetar, who is in charge of GSA, along with Mrs. Meagan Silverberg, the G-P LST’s social worker. “It’s open to everyone, no matter what your sexuality is. The group is for support of the LGBT community. It’s a pretty taboo subject, so it’s usually not discussed very much, but it’s who people are, so having it as a place where people feel comfortable is great to have for our students.”

  Sophomore Anthony Milunas was eager to join GSA as a freshman, having found out about the club through the extra curricular fair that is held to show incoming freshmen the opportunities at LHS. Milunas says he is passionate about gay rights and equality. The first few meetings confirmed his hopes of finding a special place in the group.

  “I’m not completely positive when I knew I was gay, but I came out in the middle of eighth grade,” said sophomore Anthony Milunas. “At the time, nobody else in our grade at Highland talked about being gay, and nobody had really said that they were gay. So I stood out in that way.

  “I get so upset when I hear people using expressions like ‘Oh that’s so gay.’ Do they understand how offensive that is?” he said. “I just find it ridiculous that people need to use that as an insult. It’s who I am, and who a lot of other people are. It’s really inappropriate to say things like that, even if you are just joking.

  “I’m a part of GSA, which is Gay-Straight Alliance. It’s full of really nice people. We have a safe environment to talk about the LGBT community and acceptance,” said Milunas. “It’s an open space where you’re not afraid to be yourself, because the people you’re with can be struggling with the same things you are. It’s great to have other people to talk to who are like you.”

  According to PFLAG, an organization of parents and allies that stand up for LGBT acceptance, LGBT students at schools with comprehensive policies on bullying and harassment are much more likely to report harassment to school authorities who, in turn, were more likely to respond effectively.

  At LHS, there are specific rules stated in the handbook about bullying based on sexuality. The LHS Student Handbook states: “Bullying, intimidation and harassment diminish a student’s ability to learn and a school’s ability to educate. preventing students from engaging in these disruptive behaviors is an important District goal.”

  It continues, “Bullying on the basis of actual or perceived race, color, nationality, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, gender-rated identity or expression, ancestry, age, religion, physical or mental disability, order of protection status, status of being homeless, or actual or potential marital or parental status, including pregnancy, association with a person or group with one or more of the aforementioned actual or perceived characteristics, or any other distinguishing characteristic is prohibited.”

  Mrs. Recsetar explained further that “Bullying someone for their sexuality is treated the same as making fun of someone for their skin color; it’s unacceptable. It’s really hurtful for people to use derogatory comments about being gay, or use it as an insult. It’s bullying; when you hear those negative terms, it’s how you’re born, so it’s directly insulting someone for who they are,” she said. “School is a place for learning, where you should be comfortable being yourself; it’s supposed to be safe.”

  An anonymous student explained that although their friends don’t know that they’re gay, it still hurts when they make derogatory comments, whether it be directed towards them or not.

  “The words people use to ostracize or judge us really do hurt and even when the comments aren’t exactly directed towards you, you can still feel horrible because you know if you’re just being yourself, you’ll be called the same thing,” said the sophomore. This student says that they’ve known since fifth grade that they were different, but aren’t comfortable being honest and being themselves because of the way gay students can be treated as outcasts.

  The same student said, “The reason why I don’t want everyone to know at this moment is because I hear the things people say every day and know that I’ll be the receiving end of that ridicule and abuse. I hope that, in time, I will come out and be accepted by those close to me who I know will accept me as who I am. Some of us are scared to be ourselves,” they said. This unnamed source remains anonymous because of the worry that people on their sports team will not accept them for who they are. They feel as if being who they are won’t fit their lifestyle in sports and other activities they participate in.

  Sophomore Tatum Scheibler started to identify as a lesbian at the beginning of high school. “I figured out that I like girls around eighth grade. I kind of made myself like guys because everyone did and I didn’t want to come to terms with it,” she said. “I was bullied in middle school for being different ‘cause I was just weird to everyone else. It was just because I didn’t dress like girls and I didn’t wear makeup. I was just being myself.”

  Scheibler lived in San Marcos, California, after her father’s job transferred him there early last year. She lived in Libertyville until they left for the Golden State. After moving back in early March of this year, she said that her school’s GSA wasn’t as active as the one here at LHS. “In California, it wasn’t the norm to be gay, but it’s not like you’re a different species. Here, our GSA is really close and we feel safe.

  “To make fun of someone for identifying as gay by saying things like ‘You’re so gay’ is completely offensive,” Scheibler said. “When you think about it, it’s immature and uncalled for to use that as an insult. It’s who people are, like would you say the r-word to someone with a learning disability? No. So don’t use derogatory terms even as a joke; it can hurt people around you without you even knowing it.”

  An anonymous male freshman student explains that they don’t feel that their sexuality defines them; it’s only a part of their personality, and what makes them who they are.

  “My close friends know that I identify as bisexual. I don’t tell everyone because it’s simply my business. I feel like the main reason people don’t come out is because they’re scared of what others will think or say. When you think about that, everyone should feel comfortable about being themselves.” he said. “But in our world, not everyone is so accepting. I think because gay people are the minority, it’s hard to tell if someone’s going to accept you or not.

  “Making jokes about gay people or calling someone gay to hurt their feelings is just unacceptable,” said the anonymous student. “It’s like making fun of someone for their body. It’s a part of you that you can’t change; you didn’t choose how you’d be born. But it’s just something I’m not comfortable telling everyone because I don’t know how they’ll react. I go to school, and when I talk to people who don’t know, I feel invisible. In my head I think, ‘Do you really see me?’”

  This student, along with many others, remains anonymous because he worries what others will think. The fear of becoming excluded from their peers is what pushes them to keep it to themselves. But this student is hopeful that one day, he won’t be considered strange anymore.

  “It’s one of those coming-of-age things. Minorities will always exist, but the progression of their acceptance is always moving forward in a way. We’re making it happen; we’re going to find acceptance.”