September 5, 2014

Dear Libertyville High School Administration,

Thank you. Concussions, broken arms, sprained ankles, emotional trauma, deep lacerations, bumps, bruises. You could go on for days about all the injuries freshmen have sustained over the years by being pelted by water balloons. The way you stepped in to stop the madness was just in the nick of time to save my poor boy from this dangerous mayhem.

My freshman son is just a few weeks deep into his LHS career. How was I supposed to feel confident about taking him to school in the active battleground that some call the main parking lot? If you had allowed the water balloon tradition to go on, I would have to send my son to school with a 95-pound bulletproof vest strapped to his 95-pound freshman frame. Go ahead, call me conservative. But I refuse to end up like the mother whose son is now permanently blind from stray balloon shrapnel a few years ago. Only that boy can truly see the situation the way I do.

And heavy props go to you, administration; those seniors didn’t go down without a fight. They valiantly argued that the water balloon fiasco was a “tradition” and that the experience was a “rite of passage” for the younger Wildcats. Just when I really started to think that maybe, just maybe, those seniors aren’t dangerous bullies, that they’re some of the most driven students in the state, that they just want to enjoy their senior year, I stopped myself. And I thought about my family. The phrase isn’t “memories first,” it’s safety. So it was you, dear administration, that saved my precious boy from a first day filled with paranoia and anxiety.

Can you imagine that dreaded first day as a freshman? From the time they wake up, they stare danger dead in the face until 2:50 p.m.. That’s almost eight hours! Never mind that after the first day the hydro-hell that these kids endure dissipates entirely. There’s what, 180 days of school throughout the year? One whole day of anguish constitutes a full 0.55% of the year for these doomed young minds. It’s clear that this wasn’t the only math you took into consideration. You’ve also solved this equation: petrified first year learner + severe tasteless hazing = irreversible lifelong trauma. You, my beloved administration, could not have possibly handled the situation any better.

Sure, maybe the seniors think otherwise. Maybe there have been a murmur or two that sending letters to parents was degrading, or that the threat of police force was excessive. But what’s done is done. Now, because of you, I get to hug and kiss my baby boy every day. And, because of you, I get to keep that bulletproof vest tucked away for good.

Sincerely yours,

No actual parent in LHS history