We’re All In This Together

The LHS community has experienced great loss.

With great loss comes great grief, a normal emotional response to loss.  Although not everyone has been affected personally by the recent deaths to former LHS students, many know someone who has been touched by tragedy.  There is no simple, by-the-book way to deal with tragedy, but the community, friends, and particularly the school social workers, are here to help.

In terms of handling the loss of a close friend or family member, Mrs. Meagan Silverberg, the G-P LST Social Worker, discussed the importance of acceptance: “There’s no right or wrong way.  It’s okay to be upset, it’s okay to be angry, it’s okay to just accept those feelings and then find ways to kind of help yourself.”

When trying to help a friend who is dealing with grief, first put yourself in the mode of understanding.  To help others with grief, understand that not everyone resolves their grief completely, and often, the best thing to erode the pain of grief is time.  Give them this time by taking their mind off of their grief.

“Sometimes it’s just going out and doing things that you enjoy doing with the people that you care about,” said Mr. Greg Loika, the A-F LST Social Worker.

The LSTs have been stepping up their response to the recent crises.  “[Just a few weeks ago], my LST became the coloring room where everyone brought coloring books.  You know, it’s just the little things, and if you do them with friends, they don’t feel like they’re taking time out of other people’s days,” said Mrs. Silverberg. “We just provide a space down here for students to come and maybe take a timeout, a place where they can collect themselves.”

“We’re working with teachers to make them aware of what students are going through,” said Mrs. Silverberg of the efforts of the social workers.  “We want to make sure teachers get enough information on what happened.  Sometimes, students can come to their teachers on a more individual level, just so that they can have another support measure in their teacher.  It’s just good to know that, if [they’re] upset, [their] teacher can give [them] space in class.”

In getting over grief, Mr. Loika explained that “listening to music, doing exercise, or distracting yourself with something you love to do” are good ways to help yourself.  “A lot of the time, people think ‘I should be really upset, I can’t laugh, I can’t smile,’ and I think it’s really the opposite.  We need to do those things to remind ourselves that we need to move forward personally so we can support each other together.  And if we feel stuck, that makes it a little more difficult.  Some people feel guilty about having fun after terrible news, but it’s ok to have fun and to do what you’re supposed to do.”

Jackie Ovassapian, a junior at LHS, provided some strategies for overcoming grief: “Music, other distractions…I try to surround myself with other people.  When you have nobody to talk to, all you can do is think.  Don’t avoid talking about the topic.  If there’s something that’s bothering you, let it out.”

Everybody handles grief differently; sophomore Zach Pearson shared his own method: “I try to remember all the good things that that person did.  That normally helps me,” he said.

In times of tragedy, friends and family become key sources of aid.  “Sometimes, it’s just knowing that there is someone they can call, and a lot of people are being that for a lot of people, which is awesome,” said Mr. Loika.

“Sometimes, when we are dealing with [times like these], there is intense support early on, and as time goes by, people think time has gone by, and [the grieving] don’t need support anymore.  That’s when people need the most support. Keep checking in on them and give them constant support,” Mr. Loika explained.“It doesn’t go away in just a week or a month, it takes a long time to get through grief.  It’s a process.”

Everyone experiences grief in their own way, but together, grief can be overcome.