There is nothing more exciting than cleaning out your locker. It signifies the school year has come to an end and summer awaits you, but what about those lockers themselves?
You know, the ones that hold your half-filled, unused water bottles that have accumulated in these dens of secrecy. Just how many did you fit in there?
Or perhaps your locker is a sticker mecca! You have everything from emoji symbols to peace signs adhered to the walls that only a potential nuclear blast can remove. There are layers upon layers of stickers; peeling one off leaves you to discover Justin Bieber’s singing head underneath. The problem… you have to remove them. So much for that manicure!
And seniors, make sure to check that some unlucky freshman hasn’t wandered in and found themselves stuck amongst the piles of trash. If so, pull them out, pat them off, and send them on their way. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?
And then there are those who have not been back to their locker since first semester. What do you think those lucky individuals will find when they open their locker at the end of the school year? Could it be mold growing from a science experiment? Perhaps it’s that plastic container your mom has given up asking you about that is now a home to an array of parasitic creatures you did not know existed. For those lucky enough, it may just be your six-month-old bagel that you never threw away! A little green and hairy, but none the less still a bagel. Put some cream cheese on it and you are good to go.
Oh, and let’s not forget those students lucky enough to have the large-size sports locker assigned to them, those individuals who considered themselves fortunate at the beginning of the school year. Now what do you think? That locker is full of junk! Cleaning it out is not for the faint of heart. Strap on a hazard suit and dive right in.
Imagine emptying out a plethora of dirty socks, stinky shorts, and forgotten sports equipment. Let’s not forget those running shoes that you got athlete’s foot from. They should be quite ripe by now. And the smell? Word of warning, if you happen to be next to one of these lockers, get as far away as you can on locker clean out day. The smell alone may knock you out.
Finally, to the Polly Perfects. You know who you are. You have the little cutesy magnets, locker shelves, mirror, and perhaps even a chandelier to make your locker look like a home away from home. Well, wake up! You need to take all that junk home too.
Let’s face it, a locker is like a black hole. We put things in it and then never find them again until May 25. And the funny thing is, those metal rectangular things lining the hallways on both sides were meant for books. Now we must bid farewell to those metal caves that served as our homes away from home.
